
Salvage The Bones; Jesmyn Ward

Salvage The Bones; Jesmyn Ward
I read this book (almost in one long sitting) immediately after my husband and I returned from a 10-day family holiday with our daughter, her partner, their three children and their dog. Perhaps that's why the strongest message I took from Ward's book was about the power of sibling bonds. The contrasts are massive but the similarities are more important. Esche's story and our holiday both took place over 10 days. The wild west coast of the South Island of New Zealand where we rented a holiday shack is far from the coastal backwoods of Mississippi, although they are both rural, wild, and beautiful. Esche and her brothers are black, motherless and neglected by their father, and our grandchildren are the opposite of those descriptors. Both sets of children have faced two of the worst environmental disasters in recent years; Esche's family lived through Katrina, and our grandchildren, whose home is in Christchurch, have experienced four major, destructive earthquakes and 8000 smaller ones over a period of 16 months. But it is the sibling love that makes these two families alike. Of course the 8 and 4-year old in our family screech at each other at least once a day, but those moments are dwarfed by the fun they have together. But what is really heart warming is the bond they show for their 3-month-old brother. His 8-year-old sister is clearly the other sun in his sky (along with his mother), and even when he is lovingly dragged about by the 4-year-old, not once did I see him fuss or cry. As soon as either sibling enters his field of view, he is chuckling and ready to tango.
Much is written about sibling rivalry, and for children born close together this can be an issue, but how much more important it is to focus on the bond and love that is so natural between children who share their genes, similar values and similar parenting. The relationship between siblings potentially lasts longer than any other relationship; from birth to death. Your brothers and sisters will be hanging around long before you meet your future partner, and they will still be there long after your parents have bowed out.
How to handle difficult people.