"Why do women persist in saying that diaper changing is rocket science?" This he pondered, after a recent female client proclaimed her child's father to be a good dad despite his aversion to changing their daughter's diapers. Healy adds, "Often times, women make diaper changing out to be so impenetrably obtuse that only a mother can do it properly."

A recent New York Times article reported that women, for the first time in three decades, outnumber men in school (Rampell, NY Times). So why, then, would women feel the need to outperform men in diaper-changing of all things? Poop shoveling, after all, surely doesn't rank higher on a pleasure scale for women than men. So why would women want to reign over the diaper-domain when we are proven formidable competition in so many other areas including surpassing men in academic accolades, rising professional success and, as I discovered in researching home purchases? "Being maternal means she has something special, something intuitive and unique to her gender. Therefore, he lacks something," suggests Healy.

Let's consider Healy's position for a moment. If women "have something special" to offer in doing literal doo-doo work, this puts her in a position of moral superiority. It precludes men from competing for dominance in the illustrious stool disposal domain, but by feigning incompetence, they may in fact be rescued from the toddler waste-management duties. And let's face it, rarely, if ever, do little boys say they want to grow up to be the garbage man. Superman, doctor, astronaut, barber even, but not garbage collector.

Indeed, if women can carry and deftly use heavy artillery in combat, surely the men who have helped make "technological" advances in diaper-changing-replete with the modern self-adhering tape and even do-it-yourself pull-up panties can also operate the frontlines of diaper-duty. After all, diaper-changing is now an equal-opportunity job. Yet, women often help perpetuate the male-female gender stereotypes to sustain patriarchy, avoid conflict and maintain homeostasis. If women unconsciously reinforce gender stereotypes on the homefront, they maintain their position as necessary, if not proprietary, to the wellness of the home and the relationship. In some relationships, a woman may authentically desire her mate's help with caretaking, but fear that making such a request will cause conflict and, worse, abandonment. Hence, she creates and sustains a circular causation pattern: If she upholds and defends her role as expert caregiver, her male counterpart is relieved from learning and executing new skills at home, safeguarding her position as important to her spouse and family.

In fact, just last year, an Ohio State University study found that couples had a stronger, more supportive co-parenting relationship when the father spent more time playing with their child than when the father participated in actual caregiving. The study further revealed the couples were more likely to display less supportive and more undermining co-parenting behavior toward each other should dads take on more of the basic survival needs of tots like feeding and cleaning (Rongfang, J. et al, Jan. 2011).

While the biology of sex suggests that there are great differences in ways of nurturing, Healy notes he doesn't think one is better and each can do the job without the other. However, if a woman perpetuates the notion that childcare is gender based, she is not only maintaining her superiority, but Healy says she is passively expressing her low opinion of her man's ability to care and nurture. Moreover, she is preventing her male counterpart from learning the stereotypically female skills that may be granting women an upper hand. Perhaps worse, she may be partially responsible for the growing imbalance of responsibilities in male-female relationships and contributes to the overall modern male demise.

Healy adds,"Women also promote the age-old myth that men aren't good shoppers. But have you ever been to a Home Depot and seen men fondling the tools and comparing prices?" Hmmm. Sounds vaguely similar to sizing up the best fruits and vegetables available at the local Farmer's Market.

*Follow Me on Twitter: jenmusselman

*Read what-kind-liar-are-you

References
Rampell, C. (2011, Dec. 28). Young Women Go Back to School Instead of Work. The New York Times.

Rongfang, J. & Schoppe-Sullivan, Sarah J.(2011, Jan.). Relations between coparenting and father involvement in families with preschool-age children. Developmental
Psychology, Vol 47(1), Pp.106-118. doi: 10.1037/a0020802

P. Zimbardo. (2011, Feb.). The demise of guys? [Web log comment]. ted.com